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More Fun with Female Breakdowns

19 Sep

MEL
30, a rundown whore, thin, bony and pale with a chipped front tooth, in a fine selection of goodwill chic topped of with cowboy boots and an oversized purse. Mel is certainly not the Vegas type whore; for her it almost seems as if she made a conscious choice pursuing her ‘career’.  She is not a drug wreck, but she is skinny and pale, smoking and drinking like a sailor. She may or may not have severe health issues (she is coughing really bad and has a rash on her face…not sure if it’s her lifestyle or if her health is on the line). Aside all that she is sort of cute in her very own ways.

(yay, more whores! but she’s a unique whore because she’s certainly not the Vegas type. and, besides, “aside from all that she is sort of cute” so it makes it all okay. yay!)

FEMME FATALE
A young girl 18-25 years of age (ethnicity open) to play the femme fetale of the film. The girl we seek is a young luminous Angelina Jolie type. We need someone so beautiful it would be believable she could lure two lifelong friends to become enemies.

(believe it or not, I’ve actually read this same character description MANY times- “so beautiful” to make friends become enemies. what does that even mean? and is beauty really our only asset? ok, and stepping off my soap box…)

TRINAE
Lead / Female / African American, Asian, Caucasian, Hispanic, Ethnically Ambiguous / 18 – 22
**PLEASE READ CAREFULLY AND ONLY SUBMIT IF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH** LEGAL 18+ A sexy, barely legal, like girl. Precocious teenager. Three way kissing as well as- kissing breast. No Nudity.

(well at least there’s no nudity, right? just, “kissing breast”)

LUCY
Lead / Female / All Ethnicities /18 – 30
Lesbian stripper Femme Fatale

(love it- straight and to the point)

CATHERINE
Lead / Female / Caucasian, Hispanic, Middle Eastern / 20 – 35 / Nudity / Sexual Situations
A Young Innocent Nun working at a church. When her sister gets murdered she is convinced that she is responsible to find out the murderer. She leaves the church and becomes a bartender at a strip club where her sister used to work at to find out the details of her sister’s murder. *SEXUAL SITUATIONS/NUDITY: She has one scene where she dances topless for the club owner in order to get a job there. She has one explicit sex scene with a guy (suspect). Topless shown from front and full back nudity, She has one scene where she dances topless with another girl on stage and she makes out with her. YOU MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH EVERYTHING …

(do you know how many variations to this character there are in the daily breakdowns? girl-next-door-turned-stripper, high-school-teacher-turned-whore, but you gotta love young-innocent-nun-turned-topless-dancer!)

PAINT GIRL
Lead / Female / All Ethnicities /18 – 30
We need a very hot, sexy girl to sell paint. It is a commercial, there is no dialogue.

(because hot sexy girls can sell anything! yes, even paint! I once saw this great ad selling tile flooring and it was a naked woman with two tiles covering her boobs. awesome.)

CONSUELA VALDARAMA
Supporting / Female / 25 – 35 / Hispanic
Consuela is Justin’s assistant. She looks like a sexual harassment case just waiting to happen with her figure. She exudes sex appeal, but she is very competent and keeps Justin on top of everything at the office. He would be lost without her sharp wit and guiding hand. Sofia Vergara type.

(“sexual harassment case just waiting to happen”???? I don’t even know where to begin with that one. I mean, seriously… also, I love how sex appeal and competency are contradictory in this person’s eyes **NOTE: I was going through the breakdowns and this one was still up ONE MONTH after it was posted. Hmmm, guess they just can’t find that one perfect actor for the part…)

CLAIRE-B
Lead / Female / All Ethnicities / 27-37
**PLEASE READ CAREFULLY AND ONLY SUBMIT IF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH** CLAIRE-B is one half of the Claire character. She is the ID. She is sassy and smart and enthusiastic and uninhibited. Claire-B will be taking her clothes off and covering her self with cocobutter. She will be rubbing and stroking her breasts and crotch area. **MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH TOPLESS NUDITY. ALL OTHER NUDITY WILL ONLY BE IMPLIED** **WE WILL WORK WITH YOU ON YOUR COMFORT LEVEL**

(I mean, do they want someone to audition for this part? Covering herself with cocobutter …)


A FASHONISTA OF TRAVEL

Lead / Female / All Ethnicities / 18-30
Looking for the princess of travel. Spa lover, Mall expert, restaurant connoisseur. Someone that loves the lap of luxury and lives in it always. Big plus if you have the financial backing to support your extravagant life style. Not looking for Actors, we are in search of real people with the love of travel.

(right, cuz what the hell would actors be doing on a site like LA casting reading a post like this?  and, um, stereotype much? I know, I know, there are women like this, but do we really need more “princess” “spa lover” “lap of luxury” types on reality shows right now? yeah, didn’t think so)

So here’s the thing. These characters could very well be great, interesting, deep, layered, or complicated people and they just had unfortunate character descriptions, and they could very well be a part of really great films helmed by really great directors. All I’m saying is, let’s get a little diversity in these types!

Some more Fun Female Breakdowns.

Saucy Maid

29 Aug

Do I have a story for you!

So, like I said in my last post, jumping back into the swing of things wasn’t what I had hoped for. But, I jumped in nonetheless and slowly but surely got into the rhythm of submitting, auditioning, writing and meeting. Last Monday I went in to audition for a night of one-acts at a theater in West LA. Tuesday morning I got an email from a guy who is friends with the person I auditioned for saying that he is a casting director for a reality show to hire actors for reenactments. Followed a few minutes later by another email saying he saw me in Skeleton Stories and enjoyed my work. Tuesday afternoon I met with him. Wednesday I filmed.

One, that shows how fast things can work around here (on a much, much smaller scale) and two, the beauty of putting yourself out there and building a network of people who get to know your work. Three, shows you how I landed my first job upon returning home.

Now let’s get to the job. It was one of those experiences that I chalk up to really good late night interview material for Leno or Letterman. Like the low-budg horror flick I stared in two years ago. You can’t write this shit.

So, the job. My part was “Saucy Maid” complete with french-maid costume: fishnet knee-high stalkings, ridiculously tiny and equally useless lace “apron”, faux pearl necklace with matching bracelet and a white feather duster. Yup. My character worked for a “maid” company where women in sexy maid outfits would “clean” homes. Yes, lots of quotation marks. So there I was, standing in the typical LA summer heat (that for some reason or another didn’t come until this past week), in a very non-breathable nylon and sequin mini dress, holding a freakin feather duster in the middle of the Valley. Yeah, I felt like a prostitute… or porn star, take your pick. I also felt like a hypocrite. I spend my days avoiding breakdowns precisely like the one that most likely accompanied the very character I was hired to play. I’m a woman. I’m an actor. I’m a feminist. And I’m not Angelina Jolie or Meryl Streep where I’d get to pick my script, any script. How do these things align? How do I reconcile feminist, actor– new actor– as I take on this career path?

Now, I’m not saying I regret doing this project. Honestly, it was a blast. Cool people. Hilarious story line. Lots of fun. And a paycheck. I also know that not every part out there is going to be “Hannah” or “Erin Brokovich” nor would I want it to be. I was just standing there in my Saucy Maid outfit, killing time with my iPhone in one hand and fanning the heat away with a feather duster in the other, wondering, what does this all mean……

Tracing the Steps

27 Jun

Nothing But Besties, short film shooting fall 2011You never know what will lead you where in this crazy acting world. When you trace an opportunity back to it’s origin (all of the baby steps that add up), it’s kind of crazy, and also a testament to the fact that you should check your ego at the door and be open to anything, try new things with new people in new places, and, hopefully, be doing this because you love it. Just follow the passion. And when you do, you will get somewhere, I promise. I already see it happening with me.

Okay, so let me show you what I mean… My example is this, starting from the end result and traced back to the precise moment where it all started:

7. I was cast in a short film that will be shooting this October. I’m pretty excited about it as the character is very fun and I know that the director/writer/producer is one very passionate, thorough guy who will put everything he’s got into the making of this film.

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6. He cast me because I was in his original stage piece that inspired this movie, originating the role that I will reprise in the film.

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5. I was cast in his original stage piece because I was part of the production team, including him, that produced the playwriting festival, which his piece was in.

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4. He was a part of the production team because I invited him, since I had worked with him before and trusted his work.

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3. I worked with him before on another show of one-act plays with another theater company.

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2. I auditioned for a new theater company I was unfamiliar with that I had submitted for on LA Casting and was called in to read the part in a new short play, which he was directing.

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1. I went online and made my submissions to the casting sites for the day.

You could even fork the arrows up at step 4. and add another parallel path along side it:

4. He was a part of the production team because I invited him since I had worked with him before and trusted his work.

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3. I was a part of a production team to invite him to because I decided to head the LA chapter of my SF theater company.

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2. I was part of that SF theater company to begin with because I had auditioned and was cast in a play back in the summer of 2007 and never stopped working with them.

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1. I saw an ad on Craigslist* and submitted.

And who knows how many arrows will stem back to point 7 of getting cast in the film? That is what they mean in this business when they say, “it’s who you know.” Not, like, if you know Spielberg or something, but if you know the regular every day artists like you who you meet along the way…

*I would never do that in LA, it’s just too risky with all the crap out there… a definite Red Flag!

Don’t Be the Victim

20 Jun

As a woman, and as an ethnic woman (or should I say, ethnically ambiguous), creating an acting career in Hollywood can be a tougher objective than for other actors who are, well, male or white. Well, if you want to look at it that way that is…

I’ve found myself in many, great, intelligent, heated discussions about what it means to be a female writer/actor/producer/what-have-you in LA and also, what it means to be doing it when you’re not white. I think these are great, important conversations to have. In fact, I will be moderating a panel with different theater artists on just that — “Normalizing Diversity“–  during this year’s Hollywood Fringe. For you LA folks- it’s happening tomorrow at 3PM at Theatre of NOTE and I’m nervous as hell about it (I’m trying to push myself out of my box) so y’all better show up and support =) But, I digress. So I have a lot of these talks with fellow actors and, though I think it is always important to have a critical mind, I also think it can be dangerous to get stuck in this negative mind set if you let it paralyze you. Two weeks ago I talked about the lack of kick ass female roles in Hollywood. Browsing the front page of Moviefone to decide what movie to watch over the weekend, this was even more evident. Almost all of the films had a male protagonist or practically all male cast. Also, most of these casts were all white. And, of course, a slice of mainstream media would not be complete without a little classic objectification of women (see that nice feature up top “Summer’s Sexiest Women” including two girls licking the same ice cream cone? Gimme a break).

Let’s just have a mini roundup of the ones listed on Moviefone’s homepage, shall we?

Green Lantern
Director: dude
Writer: dude
Stars:  2 white dudes, 1 white girl

Mr. Popper’s Penguin’s
Director: dude
Writer: dude
Stars:  a white dude

Troll Hunter
Director: dude
Writer: that same dude
Stars:  white dude

The Art of Getting By
Director: dude
Writer: same dude
Stars: 1 white boy (protagonist), 1 white girl (supporting)

Super 8
Director: dude
Writer: same dude
Stars:  1 white boy (protagonist) his 3 white boy friends, his white dad, and, oh wait, there’s a girl he has to rescue! -1 white girl

Am I sensing a pattern? Now, let’s get this straight, all of these can be fine movies with fine actors. I’m not saying they are bad or shouldn’t have been made. BUT they do not represent our community as a whole- not here in LA, not in CA and certainly not in America. There are female writers and directors out here and there are a shit ton of diverse, talented actors here as well. The problem is not one film, or even these five films, but the sheer multitude of films (or plays for that matter) that get produced and put out to the mainstream that are just like these- the story of a white male by a white male.

Ok, that’s the critical mind part. Very important. We must be aware of the general market of the business we are in. And we should be watching the tv shows/films/websisodes/what have you that are getting made. HOWEVER, if I were to only look at it as “boo hoo, no female roles, no mixed-races, no parts for me!” then I’m in trouble. Because, well, let’s be honest here… no one was pulling my arm to be in this business. No one is making be do this. I CHOSE to be in it. I want to be an actor. So, what’s a half-Japanese-quarter-Hungarian-quarter-Irish-but-looks-Mexican gal to do?

Well, make my own work for one. I am completely in control of the parts I write, the work I produce, the way it is cast. It’s not very productive to just complain what isn’t available if I’m not making it available for myself. Yeah, I could say it’s too hard, too-this, too-that, but then, shit, I shouldn’t be doing this then. Career building IS hard. Acting or otherwise. And, second, patience. I know I’m not the only person who feels this way, so I will meet the others who do. As I continue to stay in this business I will meet like-minded people (already have) and collaborate with them, hear about their projects or their friend’s of friend’s projects or participate in workshop sessions for plays and movies where the producers and writers want to hear feedback and I can give my honest opinion and whether or not they take it in the end, little by little, my voice is getting heard in all of these different ways…

I’m in it for the long haul, so I might as well carve my own path.

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