I had a very art filled weekend these past few days and it was filled with art from both ends of the spectrum. It ranged from an evening of poetry readings and live music at The Poets Perch in Downtown LA followed by live music at the One Eyed Gypsy and a private screening of a friend’s art film, to a fundraiser for an independent film at the multi-purpose gallery space in Chinatown, Human Resources, to a USC Film School sponsored screening of an alum’s feature film. Needless to say, it felt good. And some of it I hated. But all of it filled my heart and soul.
I realized something important this weekend– that I need and belong in the world of art. Taking in all the films and music and poetry reinvigorated me, as I gear up for a very busy –and different– life come this fall. (I’m working more hours at the high school where I teach and direct theater and I’ll be starting grad school). It reminded me what my true passions are. What really makes me happy. In the day-to-day struggle to get rent paid, this is easy to forget. And it is absolutely essential that I find a way to make this world more my own, especially now that my life will be steering towards a slightly different direction, and attend more screenings, galleries, shows, etc.
Even taking in the bad art (of course it is all relative and I speak solely from my own opinion) was inspirational. Because no matter what my opinion, the fact of the matter is these artists did it. They made their work and found an audience and put it out there. That is much more than a lot of people can say. I learned, it doesn’t matter. We all have our point of view, our thoughts and feelings, our take on the world, and it is all valid. It is all worth putting on a canvas, a stage, a film screen.
All of this is to say, I feel like I’m on the right path with making my movie. Step one has taken a lot longer than I thought, but that is okay. The trailer will get finished and I can move on. But in the mean time I can be making more art– finish all of those half-written scripts just sitting in my computer. Complete all of my painting ideas, which fill sketchbooks in lists and lists of concepts but very few realized ones. See to life my theater pieces that I talk about in vague terms but have yet to sit down, and make happen. I need to stop being afraid. Something I’ve said many times and I’m sure will say many more times to come, but it is true. I know it fulfills me, so why do talk and think about it more than I make it happen? I believe, the more art I experience- good, bad, just any art– the more I will chip away at my fears and make my own.