The Scene Partner

Remember when I said, even when you make it you don’t make it? Well, I didn’t make it.

After being strung along for about THREE months, I finally got official word that my scene just wasn’t going to make the cut in an indie film I had got cast in. Due to budget restrictions, apparently, what was going to be a feature length was reduced back to a short which simply didn’t have room for little ‘ol me.

Yes, I’m bummed– the crew seemed cool and the bit part was fun– but I kind of had this feeling from the beginning so I can’t say I am surprised. It’s not like I was holding my breath or anything. I know that you have to keep swimming along, taking up every opportunity handed to you because, sometimes, Even When You Make It, You Don’t Make It.

It’s no coincidence that two amazing opportunities come my way at the very same time. I got an incredible job offer to direct budding actors in a high school Shakespeare Fall ’10 production and an audition for a beautiful and moving play, whose lead role seems like it was meant for me. I had my first interview for the job the same weekend I had the audition for the play. Both shows go up in October. And though one doesn’t necessarily mean I can’t do the other, it would be difficult. But, I haven’t signed anything for either so this is really all speculation. I could get both, I could get neither. I just found it interesting that both opportunities presented themselves at the same time and they both take place at the same time. Opportunity definitely breeds opportunity. It always feels like I’m either insanely busy juggling projects and jobs, or bored to tears bummed I have nothing going on.

Well, I hope I get both… because that could only mean MORE opportunities!

I wish there were more actors like Ellen Page who would speak openly and freely about the added hardships of being a female in this industry.

I’ve been feeling a few of these things she talks about in the interview lately and it’s nice to read an article like this about someone who’s been at it for a while.

Ellen Page on Feminism, Abortion, Hollywood and the Media

Yesterday I filmed some more scenes for an upcoming webseries. If it were any other day I would’ve been really excited about it, thinking about what to wear, my scenes, etc. But this weekend and this past week in general have been SO busy and I’ve been So exhausted. This Friday the show I’ve been working on and producing for the past month and a half opens! Kinda crazy. Anyway, by the time I got to shooting Sunday I was a stress case– having just come off an 11AM show at Theatre of NOTE and about to go to my tech rehearsal for ShortLived at the Asylum. Not to mention I was going off like 5 hours sleep because I was up all night the night before trying to memorize my lines for the scenes last minute.

I don’t recommend this as a method, per say. But, the level of exhaustion and stress actually contributed to me being very much IN the moment during the filming. I was too tired to be second guessing choices or being all in my head about beating myself up over a flub of a line or anything. I was just IN it.

Key is to be able to do this with a sufficient amount of sleep and no stress, too, of course. But I thought it was really interesting that being in that tired out of my mind state, my acting improved because I was, in fact, out of my head.