The other day I made a horrible realization. Well, horrible at the time. As I was being all down-and-out about the acting thing, it occurred to me that it’s been over a year since a total stranger cast me in something (and I know that most gigs don’t come this way… that’s why you have to exhaust every avenue). I mean, I’ve obviously been doing stuff throughout this past year, but it all came from my theater company or someone who saw me in a show, or a friend of a friend, etc. However, none came from a total random audition off LA Casting or Actors Access that I attended. This scared the shit out of me. All those usual insecure-actor questions started bubbling up… Am I not good enough? Pretty enough? Talented enough? Blah Blah Blah! Granted, this is hard for me to admit but I’m sharing it because I’m sure I’m not the only one with this experience. Afterall, going after your dreams is scary! So much relies on faith. Believing your hard work, drive, and patience will pay off. Believing in yourself.
Fortunately, my minor freak out only lasted the evening and by the next day I was back to my usual resilient, determined, persistent actor self. If I don’t believe in me than who is, right? So I shook that all off, was back to the routine and am happy to say that one of the auditions I attended last week eventually led to… me booking the part! It was off LA Casting. I went in like any other audition. I was called back. I went in again. And I then I landed the role! Finally.
More details to come, but I will be in a new play opening next month and I’m super stoked. I’ve met the cast and producers and creative team and they all seem like such lovely people. It got me even more excited. I have that same feeling about this project that I had about that one fateful audition in San Francisco four years ago. Or maybe this will be nothing more than a cool play with cool people I may never see again, and that aint so bad. But, I dunno, call it a hunch, I got a good vibe about this. Most importantly, for whatever reason, I believe in it and it feel so good to be a part of something I believe in while believing in myself.