So, I’m taking this trip next week. I’ll be gone for two weeks, sans phone and internet and computer. No casting submissions, no emails about readings and plays and workshops, no auditioning, no phone calls…. It’s like everything is on hold. I’m in this limbo. I’m already feeling anxious to coming back and I haven’t even left yet.
Well, that’s not a good start to a vacation now is it?
It’s odd to think of taking a vacation from a job that’s as ambiguous as acting is in LA. I’m not clocking in anywhere, or have long hours at the office daily or anything like that to warrant a break. But I do work a lot (though most unpaid) and deserve a break just like the rest of us (I’m convincing myself here… I got less than a week to put my anxiety in check so I can actually enjoy this vacation!) Hourly casting submissions, daily auditions driving all over town, pick up shots for a webseries, weekly follow ups to get that hard-earned footage, updating your website, tweaking your reel, production meetings, dance classes, writing sessions, actor check-in meetings, seeing new work, casting director mailings, researching your type and current shows and realistic agencies…. it all adds up. That’s work. And, not to mention, the work that actually pays the bills.
I know that acting takes work, I just need to remind myself that it is work that counts. It’s work that is building towards something and it’s work I need to sometimes take a healthy break from. Also, it is work that isn’t going anywhere–it’ll still be here when I get back. As I let my thoughts snowball, I have to realize that there will always be breakdowns to submit to. So what, I don’t submit for two weeks. They’ll be there for weeks after that. I have to realize that I’m probably not missing out on anything; that opportunities will still come up when I return. In fact, I’ll probably be more pumped to hit the ground running when I get back than I have been these past couple of weeks. I need a recharge. As positive as I became towards the end of my post two weeks ago, I still feel kinda in this Dry Spell. A complete change of pace, change of environment, change of people, change of time zone– it actually might be just what I need.
So, there are two things I need to remember as I embark on my mini journey next week:
1. I deserve it. I’ve earned it. I could use the break.
2. LA and my acting career is still gonna be here when I get back.