So I missed a day. It was bound to happen. But I’ve been such a stress case lately that the whole day went by without realizing that I didn’t write a post! In fact, I was so scatter-brained that even forgot about a rehearsal for MY OWN SHOW! How does that happen??? I totally thought I had some time to myself yesterday, feeling a moment of calm thinking about the nice things I would do in my little spare time, when I get a text from one of my scene partners regarding the rehearsal– I immediately go into a panic. Rehearsal? What rehear– oh my god I have rehearsal. Holy shit. What day is it. How could I forget. I’m such an idiot. It’s my own show. Shit, now I have no time. I wont even make it there with enough time left in the rehearsal for the drive to be worth it.
This anxiety rolled right into the rest of my day. And today.
Now, at 10:30 at night I’m going into another anxiety attack thinking… it’s late, I still need to finish up some work, I need money after all, if I ever want to get out of the valley, but I also need to tend to some actin related correspondence and that’s my career after all but right now I need to get to bed to be up early and not tired in the morning to make it to call time to do a run thru and then to perform a show and then to go to an audition and to nail the audition and then to read a screenplay for a table read and then to
Yeah. I know. Just Breathe!
What a simple little thing to remember but how easily I forget. This week is the prime example of how not keeping yourself in check can let your mind get out of control. And feeling that anxiousness affects the other aspects of your career. The more grounded you feel, the better your work, your performance, your focus on your goal. So, as I gear up for this busy weekend I am going to tell myself… I am grateful for the acting opportunities I have this weekend, I am prepared for them and therefor I don’t have to worry about a thing.