Though I grew up in LA and want to be an actor, I’ve spent a lot of time away from our beloved sunny city. First in New York and then in San Francisco. It’s that hilly city that kept me away for so long. When I first (kinda) returned to LA in ’08 I researched theater companies because I wanted to find what I was so fortunate to have found in SF (PianoFight). I wanted a theater community, but one that would also help me in the world of Hollywood and the whole “business” side. I scoured the acting blogs, message boards, online forums and one theater company kept popping up, so I thought, I have to check them out. I went to see their show, email corresponded with their incredibly friendly and helpful new membership chair and ultimately landed myself an audition/interview, which landed me official membership to the company.
And then I went on leave.
I know, doesn’t seem to make much sense does it? This is what I wanted. I found it and I got it and then I leave it behind?? Well, I think I still wasn’t quite through with our rival North and, quite honestly, still a little scared of really doing it in LA. (Well I don’t think of them as rival, but I know they do of us!) For the next year, I was continually going back and forth between SF and LA, spending weeks and sometimes months at a time in the Bay Area. In a sense, I was weaning myself off of that life and slowly matriculating into the one here.
Now that I’m really here and I mean it this time (it feels different), I’m ready to commit to things I wasn’t before, as scary as it still is. (Call me a scardy cat, but, I’m like terrified every step of the way). So, when the monthly company meeting rolled around for my theater company I debated and debated whether or not to attend. I had no more excuses. I’m in LA. I have no other obligations. I’m here for good. What’s the problem? I felt like I’d been away for too long. And I started making all these excuses in my head as to why I should just forget about the whole theater company altogether- they never cast me in the shows I had auditioned for in the beginning, I still don’t know anyone, it’s intimidating there are SO many of them, no one’s going to care if I return, what good is being a company member really going to do me anyway, and the list goes on. But this was all FEAR talking. It’s not what I really thought. So I talked to my dad, my boyfriend, had a word or two with myself and got myself to get into the car and go.
And I’m so glad I did.
I took a deep breath and then stepped inside the theater. Immediately I saw a few friendly faces I could easily walk up and say hi to. It felt good. They were happy to see me. I was happy to see them. Then I spent the next two hours sitting in the risers listening to all of the amazing things the company had going on in the next few weeks and few months. All of the reasons I originally became a member came flooding back to me. I felt so proud sitting in that seat. I had picked them, but they had also picked me. I felt reinvigorated. I felt ready to take on this acting thing. Every few months, I need to be re-energized. Re-reminded of what it takes and why I’m doing what it takes to get what I want. It’s important to get a friendly little reminder because this business is tough. This month, that lovely reminder note came from Theatre of NOTE, my LA theater company.