The Scene Partner

Today, I had what I like to call my Talk Show material. These are the experiences that will give me great stories to tell when I’ve finally made it and I’m sitting on Oprah’s or Conan’s sofa. These are the experiences that will earn me that right.  So, I’ve been going on a steady number of auditions lately. Maybe it’s the new headshots? Anyway, today I had one that said it was a student film. I’m always wary of student films, but they sent the script for the short and it was very funny, stylized and well-written. Kinda rare considering the shear volume of projects out there. I’ve got my sides and the address, ready to go. I pass a building that sys ’1730′ but I think, this can’t be right. I check the address on my phone again. Yup, that’s what I wrote down. I check the building again. Yes, that’s what it says on that building… which is a church… which is a school… which is a HIGH SCHOOL. That’s ok, I’ve auditioned at a school before. It was an elementary school in fact that rented their spiffy media building to hold auditions for a sag ultra low budg short. So, it could happen. Nothing really surprises me anymore. I do another drive by and see a sign posted for the project. This is, in fact, the right place. Well, what else do I got going on a Thursday afternoon? I’m already here. Might as well go in…

I’m greeted by a kid who could not have been older than 10, but seeing as how this is a high school, I guess he was 14? How old are you in high school anyway. He very politely and professionally asks me to sign in and wait in the waiting area…. which just so happened to be the hallway between classrooms and the gym. I go in, see a couple people sitting in the only chairs in this area. They were obviously actors, equally as confused as I was. I look around awkwardly, while a few 15-year olds? in white polos and grey pleated miniskirts rush by, and notice a bench. I really wanted to sit, so I pushed aside the 20 or so Jansports that were all carelessly thrown on to the bench and waited my turn.

I am finally called into the audition, to my relief by an adult, and like any other audition, hand them my headshot and resume, slate my name and perform the sides. Only difference is, the person on the other side of the casting table covered in headshots was none other than a 16 year old girl with pimples and a uniform.

But you know what? Other than the fact this was a high school, everything else was pretty normal. In fact, they were more organized, nicer, more professional and efficient than half of the “real” auditions I’ve been on lately! Oh the joys of being an actor in LA…

I suck at commercial auditions!

I don’t know what it is, but I just suck at them. I’ve taken commercial technique classes. I’ve observed auditions. I’ve gotten feed back from casting directors. But the whole having just one line to deliver, which the CD just told you, and pretty much just sit there or stand there and look pretty is for some reason difficult.

Ok, so maybe I don’t totally suck at commercial auditions. This blog post just comes after a particular audition that kinda blew.

There were no sides to prepare. All you knew was that the character was a receptionist who is “charming and likable” and to come dressed business professional. So I arrive a little early, like I like to do, sign in, see there’s nothing to prepare and wait quietly like a good little soldier until my name is called. Once I’m called, I walk in, put my stuff down and then slate my name with another auditioner by my side. And then I’m very rapidly told what to say. Not really what to do though, and since this is all like clockwork I hesitated to ask any further questions for fear of putting a kink in their operation. The guy tells me “Just say ‘Hold, please. He’ll be with you in one minute.’” and before I could even say ok or just nod my head to acknowledge I even heard the directions he speeds through the directions for the other auditioner and then rushes behind the camera and calls “Action.” It was such a whirlwind that that one measly little damn line could not stick in my brain. I said, “hold please” and then couldn’t recall what was next and retardeldly stumbled through the following line “He’ll be with you, in, uh, just a, uh, moment.” Fuck.

Fortunately, we did it twice. But I knew I totally blew it that the next time I was trying too hard to redeem myself. And let’s face it, this shit aint rocket science. It should look effortless, not strained. The other hard part about all this was for the most part, I just sat there while the other guy had all these lines and I had no idea if I was supposed to observe and take him in (as the lines could’ve been like a thought bubble, though not clear) or remain in my own little receptionist world. Well the worst thing I could’ve done was stayed on the fence about it so I just quickly made a decision. But at that point, who cares right? They’re going to be like, That girl can’t even say a damn line!

Oh well. You live and learn. And I’m definitely learning! Every time I step foot in a casting office, theater house, wherever… I grow.